500 more words to finish my KI Independent Study. tomorrow (or should I say later on today) – I’m gonna finish it early in the morning. once and for all. RAWR.

– ok so. –

we always talk about emotions vs convictions. feelings vs. decisions. thinking the right thoughts. sometimes it becomes so familiar that the truth in it is just lost.

but no, this is important. so important, I told myself I cannot forget it.

for the past month (or months?) I have discovered so many things and seen so many people (some close to me, some I know at a distance but nevertheless) being captured by the wicked net of emotional confusion, drowning in the ocean of sombre, cynical and/or self-defeating thoughts. it’s terrifying, to say the least. it scares me to think of how I could have, or even can be like them. and it pains me to the pits of my stomach because when I see them hurt, I hurt too.

help us to rip the net of emotions apart. watch each feeling that holds us trapped shrivel and give way to Joy.

help us to unlock the prison of our minds. watch every thought that is a lie get shot down and replaced by Truth.

I believe in learning through pain, yes, but I absolutely do not believe that life is meant for anyone to remain in a place of darkness and despair, neither do I believe in passive hope. my greatest prayer tonight is for a new strength to fight, a new faith to believe, a new determinacy to be aggressive.

my heart is so, so burdened for my generation, for them, for you…

maybe you’ve lost a few battles, but the war isn’t over. don’t give up. please don’t give up.

because you only lose the war when you stop fighting.

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