worthy

the clock says 6.05am and it’s raining.

I just love it when it rains late at night/early in the morning and I’m awake. most people say they love sleeping under those circumstances but I don’t know, I just sit on my bed with my level 4 (if you’re close enough you know what that means) and attempt different forms of therapy, writing being one of them. you who are reading this, I really admire you for your willingness to read my verbal vomit. (;

yesterday Pastor How talked about how “where our treasure is, there our heart will follow”.

I find this principle so powerful. so often I hear people referring the heart as the gaffer of their being, causing them to make certain choices and push the responsibility of the consequences to the ‘unexplainable compelling to follow their hearts”. but the choice to place our treasure in a certain place – it is a conscious, active decision that we make. there can be an element of rationalisation and contemplation, not necessarily as feel-y and emotional as the situation is usually presented to be.

the heart is where you find emotions, but yet at the same time I think there is something more in depth to it. the heart tells you where you really want to be, where you really belong, where you ought to be. 

the vitality lies in the fine line between differentiating “craving” and “essential”. it’s scary to see people put their treasure in their cravings, especially when it’s not just monetary treasure. because all their value goes into satisfying a temporal appetite, but at the end of the day it’s almost like drinking salty water to quench your thirst – you only get thirstier. and when the craving ceases or worse, when what they crave for fails them, they break from the outside-in. it’s atrociously painful to witness.

since BF 2009 it has been an active decision of mine to place my treasure in my favourite place in the world. and to be honest I have not had a day of regret, nor second-thoughts. it is easy, almost a cinch to give. not because of my generosity nor would I consider myself the most sacrificial person, but because it is the place that first built me. and it is a conviction and a self-imposed obligation to give back. (I emphasise, self-imposed, self-induced obligation)

it is a privilege to have the opportunity to be part of building something for eternity. the realisation that we are building a legacy for not just our generation but the next generation(s) that are to come blows my mind. beyond just satisfying an innate desire for significance, it is bigger than myself, greater than myself. something that is built to last.

the greatest Cause is worthy of my all. (:

(it’s still raining! 🙂 )

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