Kiasu.

funny brain of mine. Little things that happen throughout the day can make me think about something that I feel compelled to write about.

Like many hotels provide, my family had buffet breakfast this morning. Because it’s so cold my sis didn’t wanna get out of bed so the timing dragged and we went to eat later than expected. Not that it’s a problem, because breakfast ends at 10am but we were there a few minutes to 9.

But the funny (and embarrassing. And strange.) thing was that there was something in me worrying that I wouldn’t be able to get what I wanted to eat. Which is absolutely ridiculous because I’m totally not a food crazy person (though breakfast is my fav) and furthermore, it’s not like the food wouldn’t be replenished. I was in disharmony; I knew very well there was nothing to worry about, but yet my first instinct was to take whatever I wanted before eating everything slowly after that.

Singaporean mindset? Idk man. Haha. But i was kinda disgusted and horrified at myself for having that sort of instincts and I found myself thinking about it again. No I did not pile up my food, I obeyed my common sense (thankfully) and ate what I wanted a bit at a time. Haha.

This is just a buffet breakfast. But I guess it stems down to this constant fear that people have of losing out. Parents sign up their kids for tuitions and extra lessons that they may not even enjoy, fearing that they would lose out to the other kids in school. Actually maybe all of them are acting in reaction to each others’ fears, who knows? We grab every opportunity we see, even when it’s not at all aligned with what we want, what we love, what we believe. We feel insecure when we see photos of our friends having fun without us in the picture, because we think we need to be in every outing to be remembered and we are afraid we missed a secret, a joke, etc.

We’re just scared of losing out.

But I realised that the fear of losing out comes when we don’t have a defined destination.

When parents (and the kids themselves) don’t know what they wanna do in life, the children get spammed with classes just so they can start as a jack of all trades, and secure the opportunity to do well in some well-paying job.

When we don’t have a clear vision, we run to seize every opportunity because we have no clue what we want to do anyway, so an opportunity missed is an opportunity wasted.

When we don’t know who are true friends and which group we belong to and which has the best influence, we jump around to different groups of friends hoping to be liked among everyone so at least we’ll always have somebody.

So maybe, what we need is clarity in what we want to be, where we want to go.

If we don’t have it and no opportunity is available, it simply means we’ll never really need it anyway.

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