and I tell myself,

I know people tend to think a lot at night. but somehow I get too sleepy to think. so turns out that I’d end up waking up with my head swimming with thoughts from all over the place. which can be extremely positive, or unfortunately detrimental. because obviously good thoughts would allow sanguinity to rule my day. but the latter just spoils my mood and I just never wanna get up. which is why I need to learn the art of speaking faith to override my thoughts in the morning. because we’re all negative people and it takes effort to be faith-filled. so true that while trust is for the long-term, we need a little faith daily to get through.

live up to your name, Faith. when thoughts fill your brain and overwhelm your mind, you don’t try to make sense of each one. you recognise which ones are lies, which ones are fears, and which ones are truth. retain those that build you up, rubbish those that tear you down. stop listening to everything and allowing your emotions to fluctuate together with your thoughts. aren’t you tired? it’s exhausting isn’t it, to allow yourself to feel so much and live in this condition. it’s annoying, exasperating, not at all thrilling, to be on a roller coaster that’s not in a theme park but in your soul. even if the world is complicated, you don’t have to be. let your heart be simple, so it has space for others, and so it can be found by God. overthinking starts with a trigger, like a whole line of dominoes. once you allow the first block to be pushed down, the entire train of dominoes topple in a flash. find the trigger block and don’t push it down, don’t allow it to fall. in fact, you surrender the entire stash of dominoes to God and never allow yourself to be alone with them. because the last thing that’ll fall isn’t the domino, it’s you.

rule your spirit, Faith, so you can take down a city. you cannot be overcome by your circumstances, you cannot allow yourself to be limited by what goes through your mind. you are not a slave to fate, you are not held bondage by context, but you are held captive by your thoughts. you have been given the key to free yourself through grace, but you are the only one who has the authority to unlock the bars of your jail. it is never the problem that is too big for you, but it is you who is too small for the problem. so get out, and grow bigger, Faith. you know you can, and you know you ought to. and maybe it doesn’t feel like it sometimes, but you know you want to.

live up to your name, Faith.


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