Restless

People say you can be in the midst of the most crowded places and still feel lonely.

What if I tell you that you can be in the quietest place and yet still feel like the noises are so loud, you can’t even hear yourself?

I cannot seem to distinguish my thoughts and my feelings and what is actually happening. It’s so, so so noisy that I have no idea what I’m hearing, and what I’m listening to. And even when I set aside time to be still, the sounds in the background never let go of me and I can’t seem to chase them away.

I know maybe instead of attempting to do the impossible of chasing the noises out, I gotta run away from them and into where I know to find rest.

But today my feet just can’t seem to take another step forward and I’m stuck rooted to the ground.

I know eventually, I will be able to get myself off and I will sprint to where I know I wanna be. Just that right now, vulnerability cannot be masked and confusion cannot be concealed.

In the presence of God there is understanding. I run into the presence of God today because I have no where else I can go, and no where else I can think of going.

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