just need to write this before I continue studying. (: when Jieru texted me: “I need you to switch modes now!!!” it struck me that I really HAVE to switch modes. heh.. heart of God church is in such an exciting season. and church is such a huge part of my life.. it will always be. it is not an excuse, but that’s one of the main reasons why I find it so difficult to focus…just can’t get it 4000,1000, 55 etc off my heart any second. haha. YET. there’s academic excellence. I need to do AE proud. so. heehee.
i pray that every single moment from this onwards will be time well spent and not wasted.
i pray that every single time spent studying will be effective and productive.
i pray that every single outing I plan and go for will be outings that are of quality, that make a difference in others’ lives.
i pray that every single follow up I will give even during this period will be of substance and build a strong foundation for the next generation.
i pray that every single word that I speak and I write will carry anointing and bring life to others around me.
i pray that every single thought that I keep will be thoughts that are filled with faith, hope and love.
i pray that every single prayer I pray will be what is on the heart of God and on the heart of my SPs and leaders.
i pray that every single day will count for something more than just me counting the days.
i pray that every area of my life will end up glorifying the Person I’m living it for.
definitely regret some days when I didn’t make the best out of my time. days that I let fear creep in and ended up procrastinating. but no point regretting now. they’re over and I know more than ever I need Jesus. not because He is my first-aid box. but because He is my everything. and I wanna do Him proud. in every area..
prelims haven’t been the best experience. yes I would love to be able to say, wow I didn’t study so much but God really helped me and I think I’ll get my As and Bs. but nope that didn’t happen. not because God isn’t faithful. but because we can only reap what we sow. and I can admit that I didn’t sow enough into my prelims to be able to score fantastically. but i really am very grateful.
grateful for a God who never gives up on me, who doesn’t look at me scornfully and think that I suck for not studying super hard during all the times I could have…but who looks at me and tells me that I can do it, that I can try again.
grateful for leaders who don’t just see me as another person to help grow the church big…but who believe in me so much that they give me opportunities I never thought i was qualified for, who look out for every area in my life and genuinely want me to do well, who think for my future and build my dreams.
grateful for parents who don’t pressure me to get straight As, but who are just there to tell me that I simply need to do my best, that I shouldn’t stress myself too much.
grateful for friends who don’t just look for me when they need help, but who are there for me whenever I need someone.
grateful for the people in the CG – never saw them as merely people to lead, but history makers that God has given me the privilege of seeing their lives transform, the honour of sowing into and loving them to build their destinies.
these are the reasons why I can go through this season, any season.
really, really believe that with God, I can do well. only and only with God. but I write this here to remind myself. BUT IF NOT – it’s gonna be okay. my future is secure. don’t regret anything I have done in church, anything I’ve done for others. because no matter what I know that the greatest thing in all my life is to know You. serve You. love You.