pastoral leader

I tried looking for the definition of “pastoral” to see what it means, but nah.. what I found doesn’t do justice.

Been thinking about what it means to be a pastoral leader. what made me decide that I wanted to be one, who inspired me.. it has become very surreal to realise that I am doing what I dreamt of doing 5 years ago when I was still having follow up with Jieru and Zhilin. and even more incredible to see people in the CG rising up to become the next batch of PTLs, leading and loving their generation.. grateful, more than grateful for the opportunity. never forgetting that it is a privilege.. never taking it for granted..

I remember someone saying that pastoral work is 2% pleasure and encouragement, 98% getting your hands in the grime and mud. haha. didn’t really understand what it meant previously.. remember looking up at all the leaders thinking, wow, that’s so powerful. I wanna be able to pray like that too. talk like this too. but above everything, I wanna be able to touch people’s lives the way they do it…

now I see more and more each day that it really isn’t easy. to be able to smile even when you are having a shit-day and cheer someone up. to be able to finish talking through a problem with someone before going on to train another person. to be able to pry your eyes open to finish a conversation at 2am just to comfort a confused girl. to be able to share with conviction even when your faith is being put on trial. to be able to believe in someone who refused to take your advice or listen to you more than three times. to be able to see who this person can and will be even when who he/she is in the present challenges that image from front to back. to be able to go the extra mile just to ensure someone feels loved..

yet, these are the things that make me smile.. that make me happy.. that make me go to sleep satisfied.. it is the smile on their faces, the renewed faith in their eyes, the burst of strength in their spirits, the fire in their hearts.. them seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, offering themselves in complete surrender to Jesus, passing on the baton to love others, moving from breakthrough to breakthrough, encountering the presence of God for the first time, understanding how much they are loved and how precious they are, hearing that still small voice in their hearts, witnessing their dreams come to pass and prayers being answered, experiencing the Father’s love that they never did before, realising that someone does believe in them and their destinies, getting a sense of their purpose in life..

this is why I can do this for the rest of my life. changed lives. testimonies. renewed spirits. saved destinies reclaimed and restored.

I will always cling on to the 2% 🙂 every life that I can return to Jesus, it gotta be fully won for Him. not hanging on the edge. but totally, completely won. because the thing I hate most, is to see destinies being lost, dreams being stolen, lives being destroyed.

devil you will not win.. because LOVE always, always wins.

And Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them, because they were like sheep not having a shepherd. – Mark 6:34

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