I decided to write a letter to you because the memories I had with you have been flooding my mind and I need to articulate them, somehow.
I remember the first time I met you. 7 years ago. You looked incredible and you were filled with so much energy and excitement. “This is a church,” they told me. At that time, I called it culture shock.
The first person you brought me to meet – she was waiting for me at the back of the auditorium, near the sound console. I remember the light in her eyes and the joy that exuded from her being. And the thing that amazed me was that the 10 other people I met were the same. Not that they were uniform, but they were united.
United in their worship with the same passion and respect for God. United in their love for people. United in their honour for Pastors. United in an eternal vision and purpose. I guess it wasn’t a coincidence that I heard the sermon “Ethos” on that day.
“In Heart of God church, we don’t use people to build the church. We use the church to build people.” Despite my initial resistance, this won me over. From that day, I knew I wanted to visit you again and again.
So that’s how we met and that’s how it all started. Even though yesterday was the last time I would ever see you, I will always remember you.
I will remember you because your auditorium was where I received the revelation that God could be so real to people. You are the first place that showed me what an entire congregation with hands lifted and hearts open to God looked like. It was that environment that drove me to find God for myself in the privacy of my room.
It was your auditorium where I heard God speak to me so clearly for the first time. Where He challenged me to give more than I thought I could ever give. Your auditorium was where I first knelt down and told God that I wanted to give Him the best years of my life. Your auditorium was where I was trained to serve and taught to lead. Your auditorium was where revival entered my heart, and where revival came to pass.
Your auditorium was where I saw my Pastors for the first time. Where they stood on the iconic cross stage week after week giving nothing but their 200%. Your auditorium where I saw my Pastors bare their hearts and lives as they smiled, teared, laughed and preached. On that stage I saw the dreams that my leaders had when they were 13, 14 years old come to pass. On the right side at the bottom of the stage, that was where my spiritual mum gave me a hug for the first time. And all the way at the back near the cafe, was where my leader taught me to be simple.
I will remember your 13th floor where I had my first CG, and grew to preach in CG. Where I had my first follow up, and gave my first follow up. Where I had my first worship session, and held my first worship session. Your 13th floor was where I slept and shivered and had numerous heart-to-heart talks with my leaders and people I led. Where I tried to study but ended up being drawn to the worship team pulling down the presence of God. Where I stood near the railings and my heart filled with awe as I witnessed young and old giving their lives to Jesus.
I will remember your staircase up to the loft, even before the loft existed. That was where I would walk up with excitement to meet my leaders and my pastors. Where I would purposely walk up to go to the toilet, in secret hope that I would meet any of them to say Hi. Your staircase gave me the opportunity to bump into Pastor How where I had a 1-minute conversation with him that changed my life. That was also where I ran up and down as I served on Testimony and adrenaline pumped through my veins.
I will remember your loft, your cabin office and your meeting room. The night my parents weren’t around and I stayed till you were almost closed on a Saturday: I went up to say bye and Pastor How told me that he was waiting for me to finish A-levels and I could be a leader. Your loft was where I had the best dinner of my life and learnt life lessons that I will never forget. The two smaller rooms you had – places where I felt so believed in and challenged to grow in my character. Where I was encouraged and where I was discipled. Where for the first time in my life I realised that dreams do come true.
Oh and of course, your narrow, hot and stuffy walkway. Where I played the guitar knowing only 4 chords and the CG worshipped till 5am. Where we prayed and fervently believed that breakthroughs would come. Where we saw visions and heard God whisper to our hearts.
This letter could go on and on. Singpost, you were where I held on to my convictions and where I let go of my fears. Where I lost my stubborn pride and where I found my purpose in life. Where I fought for something to die for and where I was given something to live for. Where I was first loved and where I learnt to love others. Where people believed in my dreams and where I started to believe in others’.
Yesterday was my last day with you. I will never forget the sight of giving our alms and prayers up to God as a memorial together as a church. It was an ignited moment. Singpost, you were built and paid for dollar by dollar, cent by cent – like what Pastor How said. You exist because of the sacrifices of ordinary people who believed God could use their 5 loaves and 2 fishes to do extraordinary things. You matter so much to thousands of people because of the faith and obedience of my Pastors. I guess that’s why you’re so special…
Thank you Singpost for being such a great part of my life. Without you, I’m pretty sure life would be really different now. I’ll miss you and I’ll always remember you. But I guess every chapter has to end for a new one to begin.
We’ve always said that the future will be amazing. So now, let the future begin. (: